Ep.4: A Birthday Party to Forget

The Truth About Sadie Wilkins: Welcome to St. Marguerite's

Episodes: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4↓ | 5 | 6 | 7

---

A Birthday Party to Forget

We sat silently while the memories came back. I didn’t like thinkin’ about what happened to Jackie, especially because it was all my fault. Mama even said so. She said if I hadn’t been beggin’ for money for the ice cream man, we could have just had cake and the whole thing wouldn’t have happened.

“I couldn’t believe it when everyone I invited showed up to my party. All the girls from Blue Birds came. I thought it was gonna be the best birthday ever.”

“Neat! I was in Blue Birds, too.” Lily squeezed my bare arm, but it felt like she was squeezin’ through a big winter coat.

“We played Pin the Tail on the Donkey, and Barbies. Jackie had a Stacey Twist N Turn. She was everyone’s favorite. I didn’t even mind that Jackie got all the attention. She was eight.”

“Wow. And she was your best friend.” Lily sounded impressed, but I couldn’t look at her.

“Anyway, we were all havin’ a good time for at least an hour. Then I started feelin’ hungry. Daddy was supposed to be home. He said he would grill hot dogs and hamburgers for all of us, but it wouldn’t be the first time he said he was gonna do somethin’ special, then forgot.”

I started rememberin’ how mean Mama could be sometimes.

***

“Mama. I’m hungry. When is Daddy comin’?”

“I don’t know, Sadie. Do I look like a fortune teller?”

“No. But.”

“No buts, Sadie. We have to wait until your Daddy gets here before we can start the grill. I didn’t have anything else planned.”

“Why can’t you make it, Mama?”

“I don’t know how to work that grill.”

“You could cook it on the stove.”

“I’m not cooking, Sadie.”

By now all the other girls were complainin’ about bein’ hungry. Mama was only gettin’ more irritated. Then she did somethin’ I didn’t expect.

“Okay girls. Since Sadie’s Daddy is running late, we’re going to start with cake.”

***

“Mama decided it would be okay to have dessert first. She did that a lot when Daddy was runnin’ late. But it was the only time she offered that choice to my friends. They were more than happy to eat cake.”

“I would have said yes to that!” said Lily.

“Except we didn’t have ice cream because Daddy was supposed to pick it up on his way home. He was gonna pick up my brothers from Grandma’s, too. I couldn’t help it. I started cryin’.”

My eyes started tearin’ up, but I held back the floodgates and told Lily what I could put into words.

“Mama didn’t say nothin’. She just handed me the cake with all the candles on it and told me to march my ass out front so she could take a picture. Jackie knew I got my feelings hurt, so she stood with me. Everybody else stood next to Mama and sang Happy Birthday. I did my best to smile, but I could hardly keep from cryin’. Daddy didn’t care nothin’ about me or my birthday, or he would have been there.”

I was shakin’, holdin’ myself like a big baby.

“I’m sorry Sadie. I understand. My Dad was never there for my birthdays either.”

“Really?” I sat up a little straighter.

“Yeah. He was never there at all. He left before I was born.”

“Dang, Lily. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. Keep going. I want to know what happened. We can talk about me some other time.”

I took a deep breath, felt real dizzy.

***

Mama snapped the picture, and I burst into tears. I couldn’t help it. She grabbed the cake and gave me that look she gets that tells me I’m in for it. Of course, her givin’ me the stink eye only made me feel worse. I could hardly breathe. I was sobbin’ so hard. Jackie put her arms around me and settled me down.

When I came back from the memory, Lily was holding me.

“Mama was cuttin’ the cake, and all the girls were gathered around the table. Everyone was so quiet. I felt embarrassed. That’s when we heard the bell from the ice cream man comin’ up the street. Mama gave in. She said we could stop the ice cream man and each pick our favorite kind. Well, that changed everybody’s mood.”

I squirmed around and sat up because I started to feel kind of suffocated with Lily hangin’ on me.

“Then Mama grabbed a handful of change and gave it to Jackie. I thought she should have given it to me, since it was my birthday, but I wasn’t gonna say nothin’.”

Lily was lookin’ at me the same way Dr. Lee had the other day. I couldn’t tell what she was thinkin’ but it made me mad.

“Why are you lookin’ at me like I’m some kind of circus freak?”

“What?” Lily scooted further away. “I’m listening. That’s all. Did I upset you? How did I upset you?”

My hands went numb, and there was a buzzin’ in my ears.

"I'm sorry, Sadie." Lily’s voice sounded distant.

***

“We were runnin' out to catch the ice cream man. I grabbed Jackie’s arm to slow her down because I wanted to dish out the money.”

I couldn’t control my tears. It was all I could do to keep the words comin’.

“Jackie dropped the money…she was tryin’ to gather it all back up and, and some went into the street. I screamed at her to stop…”

I was ballin’ my eyes out now. "I remember Jackie lookin' like a rag doll flyin' up in the air when that truck hit her. Mama grabbed me before I could get to…”

“Are you okay, Sadie? You can stop if you want.”

“No. I need to tell you. This is the first time I’ve ever told anyone, except Mama.”

***

“Everyone wanted to talk about what happened and it made me feel worse, so I stopped talkin’ to the other girls and started spending all of my time alone.”

“Didn’t you get bored?”

“Naw. Grandma always said only boring people get bored.”

“Weird. What does that mean?”

“It means you need to know how to entertain yourself, I guess.”

“Hmmm. Never thought about it like that.”

“Anyway, my Grandma gave me Patty Play-Pal for Christmas. She looked so much like Jackie. Holdin’ Patty's hand reminded me of our friendship. She even had this light in her eyes that looked the way Jackie’s eyes used to sparkle. The more I looked into Patty's eyes, the more I saw Jackie.”

“Pretty soon I started callin’ her Jackie. It was fun at first. I took her everywhere.”

“Yeah. Those Patty Play Pal’s were so lifelike! I remember holding its hand and being able to walk along with it. The thing was too tall for me. I bet she fit you perfectly!” Lily seemed genuinely interested, which made it a lot easier to talk about things.

“My Daddy hated that doll and Mama thought it was funny. She would set a place at the table for her just to make him mad and she would talk to Jackie, same as me.”

“Your Mama sounds like a complicated person.”

“She was. I never knew if she loved me or hated me. Her moods changed all the time. Anyway, I was used to Mama. The doll changed. That was the scary part.”

“Um. How do you mean?”

“I was done with her by the time I turned seven. I started to miss having real friends.”

“Makes sense. So what happened?”

“Well, I put the doll in the closet with the other toys I didn’t play with anymore, and the next morning she was sitting in the little chair by my desk, where I’d been keeping her since I got her.”

“Maybe your Mom put her there.”

“I asked her and she said she didn’t. After that, I was afraid to touch the doll, but I couldn’t stand to have her starin’ at me either, so I threw a blanket over her.”

“Let me guess. The next morning, the blanket had slipped off.”

“Yep! Every single day for a whole week. I would wake up and Patty Play Pal would be there starin’ at me. So then, I grabbed a plastic garbage bag and put her in it. I tied it shut and took the doll out to the trash can to get picked up in the morning.”

“Don’t tell me. No. Tell me.” Lily looked like she was fixin’ to jump and run, so I put my hand on her shoulder.

“The next morning, I woke up and looked at the chair, first thing. I was so relieved there was no doll sittin’ in it, but when I sat up and slid my feet over the edge of the bed, my toes touched a plastic bag and I could feel the doll's hand touchin’ me!”

Lily jumped up and hopped around. “No. No. No.” She slid back down next to me. “How did you get rid of her?”

“We moved.”